Apr 23, 2012

Leaving home to go home

I've experienced a rather strange thing - leaving home to come home, and then leaving home again to come home. On both ends of the travel (Australia and Malaysia) I called people upon arrival, to be told, "Welcome home!"

Someone asked me what a definition of a 'home' is. Well, it's where family is. It's where I have to do things and move forward, and not just be, like during a holiday. It's where I can crawl into my own bed. It's where things are familiar. They are familiar, not in a comforting manner, the way familiar things are when you are away from home. But in a manner so natural it feels like your second skin, slipped on effortlessly like that pair of well-worn pajamas.

We went back to Malaysia for 3 weeks. Number One loved the trip - he has been missing family and feels an intense connection to them. I could see him  tearing up as he grouped everyone together to get a last photo with his camera. The whole trip, his photos have been of faces - as if he was trying to freeze that moment in time. He bonded incredibly well with his cousin, a toddler many years younger than him, I think, because he longs for more family - and he already added his cousin-in-waiting (due in a few months) to his count of cousins!

Number Two was his usual happy-go-lucky self - simply living in the moment. He was quite chirpy, and aptly sang "We are a family!" during one dim sum brekkie.

Me, I found myself observing, as if from a distance, the two worlds we occupy. In the first week back, I wondered what we were doing in Australia. In the second week, I remembered why we were in Australia.

Number One summed it up best on the first night we were back:

"I'm glad to be back in Australia but I wish I could have brought everyone here with me."


  1. Hello, just stumbled on your blog today and was reading your posts on Malaysia. I am also a migrant here in Aus on PR and I so missing everyone back in Malaysia. Only hubs, my kid and MIL here in Melbourne.

    I sometimes think that I need to have more kids so that my daughter will have siblings and actual people she can file under the category of 'Family' besides us.

    It's sad, but I can see life is definitely better here :) Keep your posts coming. I enjoy reading them!

  2. Hi there! Thanks for the compliment and thanks for reading :)

    Yeah, I think we are all in the same boat... it's something you don't quite understand until you've taken the journey ;)